2016 – 1.

1.

I woke up under the bed. The last memory I had was a bright white flash as I got up to look out of the window.

I had no idea why I was under the bed. As I crawled out the silence hit me. There was sunlight streaming through the windows and it hurt my eyes. Why was it so quiet? I leaned my hand against the wall as I stood up, my bones aching. My ribs ached most of all from lying on my front. I took a deep breath as I looked around my bedroom. I was alone.

Again the heaviness of the silence weighed down on me. There were 6 adults and 3 children in the house. Someone was always making a noise. It felt wrong. I quickly looked out of the window, all of our vehicles were there but there were no signs of anybody in the yard. I walked out of the bedroom onto the landing. The girls bedroom door was ajar and I pushed it open gently. The old hinges creaked as it opened and I looked inside. Empty.

I tried each room in the house in turn. Messy beds, clothes on the floor, no people. Downstairs there was no sign of anybody. I walked into the kitchen and put my hand over the stove. Cold. As I looked around I saw shards of wood sticking out from the door frame. The door had been forced open from outside. Panic rose in me, I could feel my heart beating fast. I ran outside into the yard, bare footed in the January cold. There were tyre marks in the remains of the snow and many footprints. i bent down to look at them, oblivious to the cold. Too many to distinguish any individual prints.

I went back inside the house, confused, scared. I sat at the kitchen table and wondered what to do. After a couple of minutes I realised how cold I was. I needed to get dressed. As I went back upstairs I started making a plan. Get dressed, get field glasses, get into the attic and look out of the skylight for any signs of my family. As I dressed in combats, hiking boots and a cotton top covered by a thick fleece hoodie I decided to grab my bug out bag.

For years I’d obsessed about an apocalypse, I didn’t care that I sounded crazy. When the unthinkable happened, me and my family survived, not only survived but prospered. To this day I always have a bug out bag ready with a 3 day supply of essentials. Everyone in the house has one, even the kids. As I finished lacing up my boots I checked Rob’s side of the bed. His bag was still there. I ran into the girls room, their bags remained aswell. Something was not right.

As I climbed up to the attic I heard engines rumbling in the distance. Part of me wanted to run out into the yard to bollock my family for scaring me, part of me knew they’d never up and leave without letting me know. I went into the attic and closed the hatch after me. I went to the skylight which was blocked by a heavy curtain. I carefully pulled the curtain aside to see outside. Through my field glasses I could see a pair of quad bikes coming down the lane outside our farm. I tried to see the riders but they were obscured by the hedges and moving too fast for me to keep track of them.

The quads stopped outside the gates of the farm and one of the riders pointed to the house. They were both wearing black motorbike leathers and black helmets. The second rider nodded to the first then reached behind him into a bag and pulled out some tubes. I didn’t want to risk a reflection from the lenses of the field glasses so I let them dangle around my neck as I watched the man doing something with the tubes. He looked over at the house and seemed to stare right at my window. I ducked down instinctively. Seconds later I heard the quad bikes firing up their engines and speeding back down the gravel drive. As I raised my head to follow their progress I heard a loud “whoomph” followed by another, then another. I looked frantically through the window as flames started licking around the downstairs windows. By now the quads were out of sight and it was time for me to move.

In my confusion I stumbled and fell before I reached the hatch, banging my head on a pile of books we’d stored there from the previous owners. I opened the hatch and could straight away feel the smoke in my throat. I pulled my hoodie up over my face as I climbed down onto the landing, pulling my rucksack behind me. I ran down the stairs and found the living room completely engulfed with flames. The kitchen was impassable. I considered for a second trying to extinguish the fire but it was already out of control. Whatever they’d thrown at the house it had done it’s job. I needed to get out but I’d be left in the clothes I stood in. I went back to my bedroom and pulled a bigger rucksack out of the wardrobe. I stuffed a handful of underwear and socks into it along with a couple more pairs of combats and some shirts and a clean hoodie. I had a spare first aid kit upstairs in the bathroom so I ran in and grabbed it along with some soap. I bounced the bag in my hands to gauge the weight then ran back into the bedroom. I desperately pulled the mattress away from the bedframe and retrieved my favourite machete. As a last minute thought I grabbed the sleeping bag from the wardrobe and slipped it under the top of the rucksack…

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Diary: 2015 The end.

31st December 2015

9pm We’ve been living at Hiraeth farm for 11 months. In that time we’ve been through the entire circle of life.

We lost family and friends in numbers un-countable. We’ll never forget them. We still think of James and how he helped to keep us all safe and gave his own life to save ours.

We gained a beautiful new member of the family. At the end of October Ali gave birth to a stunning little girl. They called her Abby and Brett is quite possibly the proudest dad I’ve ever seen. We also gained Steve, Mike’s brother who is maybe the funniest man alive. Thank goodness the electric is back because he makes me pee my pants every day and I’d really miss the washing machine. To think, the people I call family now, I’d never met at this time last year.

We lost our homes, jobs, way of life but have found new better ways. We spent most of the late summer trying to restore the farm to its former state. We finally took down the barricades just before Abby was born. We have flowers in the garden and have removed most of the many vehicles we’d collected as a defence. Mike and Steve insisted on keeping some to play with and they spend hours together fixing cars and vans and working on various projects that involve black hand prints on my clean walls. Brett has become a fine farmer but still has many years of learning ahead of him. Most nights you’ll find him sitting in the armchair holding baby Abby and reading the almanac with a little notebook at his side. Ali has taken over the schooling of the girls while I help with jobs around the farm so she can be with the baby. Carys and Seren love their new baby “cousin”. Rob is becoming a dab hand at digging trenches and clearing trees and other stationary objects. My main job these days is keeping us in fresh meat. I got sick of shooting rabbits so now we’ve made a large enclosure and are filling it with rabbits as we can catch them. catching a live wild rabbit is not that easy. We love our new lives.

We visited our families last month. We wanted to see them before the winter set in. The trip to Devon was uneventful and easier than expected. The main roads have been cleared but there are still many cars at the side of the road. Siphoning fuel was no problem. We have to be more careful with acquiring things these days as there is a new fledgling police force on patrol but we very rarely see anybody.

The one massive thing which has changed is that the internet is back on. We managed quite easily to “find” the bits needed to get ourselves online and from last week we were able to communicate with our families. Oh how we’d missed Skype! We’ve been needing to spend less time outdoors lately due to the weather being rubbish and not many crops need tending right now so we’ve spent our time indoors and online, trying to find out as much as we can about what has been going on in the world over the last year. Not much has changed. obviously the biggest news story in the world has been a zombie virus wiping out the UK.

There are reports of the people responsible being prosecuted by some world court or other, yet more reports of similar experiments being done in other countries. I wonder how long before it happens again?

Every UK citizen is in official quarantine for 5 years. I suppose nobody wants to risk infection coming to their country. That’s fine by us, we’re going nowhere.

We had a little trouble soon after we got back, a group of young men with rifles came looking for something to loot. We soon got rid of them. Nothing much fazes us anymore. We’ve been through so much together, if you can survive zombies I guess the rest of the world looks a bit less scary in comparison.

We had a lovely Christmas. Presents were a bit thin on the ground but nobody complained. The girls didn’t even ask for toys like usual which is lucky as there are no toy shops anymore. We did make a trip into Chester to the retail park where we got my furniture. There’s a big Toys R Us where we’d been before and we got a few bits for the girls but not much. From somewhere Rob found me some books on dressmaking and a sewing machine. I got him a new shovel.

We still eat together every morning and evening, sometimes lunchtime too. In the evening we eat by candlelight. It reminds us how far we’ve come and how easily lost these luxuries are.

We’re happy. The infection was a terrible thing but it’s changed our world. The UN and the US government interfere, they send food parcels and every month or so a doctor and priest come knocking. We feed them and listen to whatever news they have and wave goodbye. The food parcels are useful.

This is the first New Years Eve in our new home and we’re excited to welcome 2016. There were times we never thought we’d see it. Steve found some fireworks from somewhere, it’s best not to ask where they came from. We’re counting down to lighting them and the girls are so excited! We’re setting them off at 10pm so the girls can go to bed then us adults are staying up to Skype Mum and Dad.

10.40pm The girls loved the fireworks even though only one pack worked! Steve was gutted but it was so funny. God they were noisy though! The girls just went to bed and we’re settling down now. A bottle of whiskey has appeared from the cellar and although I won’t be having any I’m happy to watch everyone else toast the new year. Let’s hope it’s quieter than 2015!

1st January 2016

I’m in the attic. I have chanced lighting a candle. Last night just after we went to bed I heard engines outside. I thought that maybe the fireworks had been mistaken for distress flares and provoked an army visit. As I got up to look out of the window I remember a white flash then nothing. I woke up under the bed this morning.

Everybody is gone.

 

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Diary:2015 August PART 1.

1st August 2015

I thought today would be a good day to pick my old diary back up.

We came home today.

We had a knock on the farm door a week ago asking us to re-locate to our own houses as the owners of the farm were moving home.

The soldiers who came with this message also told us they’d found our families.

Obviously we were ecstatic at the news but before long we had to think about what it meant for us. We’d become a family. Ali is now obviously pregnant and blooming with it. Brett is getting on her nerves by being protective – you can hardly blame him these days. Mike has become a brother to go some way towards filling the gap left when Ash left.

The old couple who lived there before we “adopted” their home are probably not going to be overly impressed with our modifications. We had a chat about this and we’ve all written them a letter of thanks and explanation and left genuine offers to help put things right. We started fixing the place back into a home rather than a fort.

Now we’re left to decide where we’re all going to live. Me, Rob and the girls are going home to be with mum and dad. Mike is going to see if his family is around, if not he’s coming to us. Ali and Brett are going to find Ali’s family first, then on to find Brett’s family. Again, they have the option to come back to us. In the meantime we’re packing and trying to figure out how to communicate when we’re all split up. The electric and running water is back but there’s still no mains gas, landlines, mobile phones or internet.

We’ve been in regular contact with the rescue groups since their first visit. They used us as a kind of base, every week they’d drop in and usually go off to do their business then come back in the evening and stay the night. They’ve become good friends. The Aussies went home this week, the Americans are due to leave next week sometime. I’ll miss them. They have been our only way of finding out what’s going on in the rest of the world. The UK is now being run by the remains of our old government and the UN. They tell us the population has gone from nearly 65,000,000 to 50,000. That’s a big drop. You could fit the entire UK population in Liverpool ten times over. The plan is to get all the survivors together then start up a new city for us all to live in. We don’t much fancy that. Anyone who wants to opt-out of the plan is able to but once you’ve gone you’re on your own. The people who were in the army camps are being allowed home to pick up their belongings then they’ll be moved out to the new location. I’m not sure where they’re planning on but I won’t be there. Mum and Dad are more than welcome to stay with us but we’ll understand if they don’t want to. We can always visit.

So we’re going home this morning to meet up with them. I wonder if the people who own the farm will pick up some stuff and leave again? They won’t find much. I feel bad about that. We’ve brought their things out of storage, I hope they don’t mind us crashing their home. I hope they realise that it saved our lives and if I ever get a chance to thank them, well I don’t know how I could.

One last thought, it’s me and Rob’s wedding anniversary today. I nearly forgot. How these things seem less significant now.

 

2nd August 2015

10am We arrived home yesterday evening and spent a large part of the night putting the house back together. Even though we don’t need the barricades anymore I can’t bring myself to take them down. The house had been “checked” before we came back but I haven’t noticed anything obviously missing although I can’t remember if I left much behind. There are signs painted on the houses from the clearance crews, I had a quick drive around this morning to see the damage and I think I’ve figured out some of the signs, others are still a mystery. Some houses must have contained bodies and others infected, those signs I can make out. There are minibuses arriving every so often, bringing neighbours back. Mostly people are going in, collecting belongings and having a cry then leaving. We’re waiting for mum and dad.

5pm Mum and dad are back and are upstairs packing. They’re not going to stay and have begged us to come with them. We’re not going. I can’t write anymore.

 

17th August

6am It’s taken me a couple of weeks to get the strength to pick up this diary again. I woke up early today and re-read it. It made me cry. I suppose I should fill in some gaps.

Mum and dad had never been in Ripon. They were in Catterick Garrison the whole time which is a very good thing. The camp in Ripon was destroyed. the infection was in the camp as I found out and it did indeed spread as we feared it would.  They bombed the camp. Thank god that Paul and the guys left when they did. All the people who were evacuated from our area were sent to Catterick and the surrounding area, why we were taken to Ripon I don’t know. Mum and Dad found most of our immediate family or got news of them through the “family link” desks. We’ve lost some family and friends but all the important people are ok we think. They weren’t happy about us staying behind. This is a massive understatement in fact. Mum and Dad are heartbroken that we’ve refused to come with them. In honesty I’m heartbroken too and so are the girls but we can visit. I told them I want to give it some time to see how things go in the new city. Because the population is so small they’re moving all survivors who want to go, to a couple of small towns around Barnstaple. I have no idea why this has been chosen as the location but in any case it’s a beautiful area and somewhere we’ll happily visit as often as possible. Fuel is our only issue as far as we’re aware.

We stayed at home for 3 days after Mum and dad left. It was too painful to see the remnants of our old life, too hard to find the things we needed. The girls were unhappy and so were we. We made a trip up to Rob’s parents house and were lucky to find them at home. They were also packing up to leave. They were so happy to see us and although they too think we’re crazy to stay behind they agreed we can visit and settle in the new location if we choose to when things get too hard.

After leaving Rob’s parents we wandered the North Wales coast and Snowdonia national park for a few days. It’s so beautiful here and utterly deserted. We did see some of the minibuses taking people home and army trucks ferrying troops and supplies. In some of the bigger towns we saw the clearance crews, removing the bodies left behind and switching off all of the electrics and water supplies to the uninhabited houses. There have been many fires since the electric came back on because of electrical shorts. We were advised by all of them to follow the vehicles down to Devon and each time we cheerfully declined. One group sat with us while we had a picnic lunch of cold baked beans straight from the tin, they told us that the last of the families should have been home to pick up their belongings by the end of the week, after that everyone who wanted to go should be in Devon. We were also warned about groups of troublemakers and looters. We’ve come across them before but apparently a small number of people never came back for their pick-up after being taken home. I’m not surprised. The whole country is lying around for the taking if someone wants to take it.

2 days ago we found ourselves sitting on the edge of Llyn Brenig. The temptation to go that extra few miles down the road to the farm was too much for us.

We Came back to the farm. It was deserted when we arrived. We pulled into the yard and parked in our old spot. The front door was still blocked by a 4×4 just as we’d left it. The back door in the yard had a note pinned to it inside a plastic bag.

To the survivors

Thankyou for your letter. We lived in this house for 53 years and were proud to call it our home. We raised 2 children and played with 5 grandchildren here.

We were shocked and saddened when we returned and saw it how it is now, however after reading your account of what happened here we are proud to think we helped a family survive these terrible times. May god forgive you for the crimes you committed to keep your children safe.

If you are reading this then you will understand that we have decided not to remain in our home. We are old now and could not survive the old life which you have chosen to pursue. We wish you luck and hope you can achieve your aims.

My wife was a schoolmistress in her younger years before our children were born and was greatly impressed by the school rooms you made in the wood sheds. She has left you some written instructions on schooling children.

I farmed these fields for all the years we lived here. You should move your cabbages next season into the lower field, the top field has always suffered terribly with powdery mildew. I see you found my farming almanac, I hope it is of as much use to you as it was to me. I fed the animals and left some food out for them. I suspect you will return before it runs out.

We spotted the slate by the gateway. Hiraeth is a beautiful name for our farm. Hiraeth is now yours for as long as you care to live here. Should you decide to come to the new settlement please drop by and say hello.

Good luck and god bless

Huw and Annie Nelson

19th August

Brett and Ali arrived back this lunchtime. They did not find their families and have left word with friends and neighbours that they are alive and well should anybody find them. I am so glad they are back. Brett read the letter we were left and laughed about the powdery mildew, he’d noticed some coming already.

20th August

Mike came home today. He’s brought his brother Steve with him. I like Steve. He lost his family and they haven’t found Mike’s parents.

22nd August

Today we had a big surprise. Ashley and Paul.

The explained why they left, although it makes no sense to me. They felt they were a burden, that we’d have more chance with less mouths to feed and they were both desperate to find their families. They succeeded. They stayed for about 3 hours then went on their way. Ashley gave me a beautiful machete as a parting gift. I was nearly as sad as when Mum and Dad left. It’s taken me hours to stop crying enough to write.

Diary: 2015 June PART 1.

20th June 2015

11.30pm Oh wow I haven’t written in ages! This is mainly because there’s been nothing to write about really. On 12th March Ali arrived back here at the farm, she fitted in straight away and over the last few months her and Brett have become an item which we’re all really happy about. We were a little worried that Mike would feel left out with two couples in the house but he really doesn’t seem to mind.

When she came back there was some talk over the following days about going after the guys who’d been holding her and Becci. Me and Ali talked the men out of it. If they went and got hurt or killed we’d have been left on our own and we couldn’t cope by ourselves with the 2 girls. Reluctantly we reached an agreement of live and let live, if they ever come to us I know Rob, Mike and especially Brett would love to show them the error of their ways.

Anyway the last 3 months have been pretty mundane. Get up, make breakfast, sort the animals, school the girls, make lunch, school the girls, help with farming/jobs around the yard, make tea, chat and bed. Every day. We rarely see any zombies now, I think the last one was about 2 weeks ago and it was a dragger, head, arms and half a chest, dragging itself down the road. We still find their bodies, in various states of decomposition. We have seen the odd signs of other survivors but not much and to be honest we haven’t been looking.

Until today.

Actually that’s not strictly true.

I told Rob a couple of days ago that while I was in the outhouse teaching the girls some maths, I swore I could hear a motor, not a car or van or tractor, I know what they sound like, it was an aircraft. He didn’t disbelieve me, but he didn’t believe me either. He thought I was probably mistaken. I didn’t tell anyone else.

Today I heard it again but louder so I went outside to look and bugger me if there wasn’t a helicopter. It was far away, I could barely see it but it was there. I got my emergency whistle and blew until I nearly passed out. I was excited and scared all at the same time. Within a few minutes everyone was with me in the yard looking for the emergency. By now the chopper was well out of sight but nobody doubted me that I’d seen it. We spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the yard looking at the sky, discussing why there might be a helicopter flying around.

At approximately 5pm it came back, going in the opposite direction. I could have popped with excitement at being vindicated. We all stood, watching it fly across the clear blue sky.

So now we have a mystery. Who is flying that chopper and why? Are they here to rescue us? Is it a survivor who happens to know how to fly a chopper? Does it mean that the infection didn’t spread past the UK? So many questions.

21st June

10am The girls are doing some drawing and I sneaked my diary into the school room. I’m glad I did. I heard a helicopter again a few minutes ago but it was gone before I could see it. It was definitely closer than yesterday. It’s a lovely sunny day today so I think I’m going to move the girls outside into the yard for their lessons this afternoon, I can keep an eye on the sky then.

1pm The chopper went past again just now. Closer again, close enough to see it. It looks like one of the police helicopters we’d see flying past occasionally before all of this. It was flying quite low and it seemed to be searching for something (someone?).

11.15pm After tea today we discussed the matter of these helicopters. Mike and Brett and Ali are determined that they are proof that the worst is over and the military (or another countries military) are searching for survivors. They think we should try to signal them tomorrow. I’m not so sure.

22nd June

7am The electric came back on for a few minutes this morning. We were all sat at the table having breakfast when the radio came on, just static. We nearly jumped out of our skins! We went around the house flicking all the switches to the “off” position. If the electric came on while we were outside and a fuse blew our house could well burn down along with all our stores and supplies. Not a chance we want to take. It just proves that there are organised people around here. We think perhaps they are in Anglesey, there is RAF Valley there and the Wylfa power station. If you were going to try to re-instate a population then surely getting the power back on would be a high priority. I think this could be a good sign.

12pm I’m waiting for lunch to cook. The girls are playing with Ali in the yard. She’s not feeling too good today apparently, so she’s having a house day. I think maybe it’s an excuse to be close to home in case anything happens. She seems fine now anyway. The helicopter was buzzing about again and I’m sure I could hear vehicles about an hour ago, I ran outside but I couldn’t see anything.

3pm It’s such a beautiful day that the men have decided to have a barbecue and stop work early. Our farming has come on better than we ever expected and in the next few days I’m going to have to take a day off schooling to make some preserves. We could have done with some neighbours for swapping veg. I think the barbecue is partly inspired by the slaughter of a piglet yesterday and the arrival of helicopters and electricity. I wonder if the electric will come back on again.

23rd June

8am The electric came on again this morning at 6.30am. It’s still on now. I boiled a kettle for the first time in 5 months. The radio is only picking up static but if you listen carefully to the AM channels you can hear faint voices, I can anyway. The TV is broadcasting nothing which isn’t surprising but we’re going to keep checking it. I’ve opened the taps in the kitchen to see if we get our running water back.

9am Helicopters! Three of them came over us, really low. We went out into the yard to watch them when we heard them coming and we could almost make out the people inside. I felt a little exposed, we have no real idea who it is flying around. I’m going to have to assume they’re friendly, they’ve got our power back on if nothing else. I’m expecting a visit soon because they definitely saw us. Carys and Seren were waving to the choppers.

1pm Well I didn’t expect a visit so soon! A truck pulled up at the farm around midday. I was in the kitchen with Ali and the girls, the men were in the yard. In the truck was a motley crew if I ever saw one. At first we thought it was a group of survivors, come to trade supplies. Their leader came to the gate and shouted something I didn’t quite catch, his accent sounded foreign.

Mike went to the gate and they exchanged a few words, then the stranger turned around and gave a signal to the others in the truck to come over. There were 5 of them, 4 men and a woman. They introduced themselves as members of a survivalist group set up before any of this happened for this exact scenario. I’d been a part of a similar group and was quite relieved to see them. They’d been brought in by the remains of the UK’s government as advisors, mainly to help find survivors. They told us there was a large military presence at RAF Valley like we thought and they were trying to get the country back on its feet. We invited them in. I’m extending our lunch to share with them now, after we’ve eaten they’re going to fill us in on the details.

11.40pm Our visitors left us about half an hour ago. We offered to let them stay but they wanted to get back to base. So far we’ve learned:

The initial infection was man-made, biological warfare research was leaked and the protesters were trying to shut down the factories.

The infection spreads through bodily fluids and makes the infected person aggressive and basically makes them an animal.

The infected are not dead but they are running on extremely low resources which is why they don’t appear to breathe or bleed. Their heart is pumping but very weakly. The research was trying to find ways of surviving in hostile environments which explains this part of it. The extreme aggression and blood-thirst was an unwanted side-effect.

The people evacuated are mostly still alive. Some army camps were breached which we knew. There is currently a mission to re-unite families. Hopefully we may still find our loved ones.

The infection burns itself out in around 4 months. The host body can’t sustain life with such limited resources for longer than that, the damage to tissues is just too great, this must be why we haven’t seen many lately.

The infection managed to get to France and Norway. Because they had advance warning (even a couple of hours helps) they were able to contain it. They only had to face a few people coming off planes and ferries, we had 10 huge simultaneous explosions of infection scattered around the country. The rest of the world is unaffected, so far.

There are teams of mercenaries travelling around to kill-off the remaining zombies. All of the initial infected should be dead now but any newly infected will still be wandering around. There are teams of technicians putting the infrastructure of the country back together so that people can go home. There are clean-up crews on the way to remove and dispose of bodies. The helicopters are searching for people and infected and sending help or soldiers.

Our visitors were a mixture of Australian and American, I wasn’t surprised to hear there were a large amount of US troops over here now. The leader was a big Aussie called John, he’d been predicting this would happen sometime and had jumped at the chance to come over and see it first hand. The woman with them was Aussie too, she was pretty quiet and didn’t say much but I got the feeling I wouldn’t want to mess with her. The guy who did most of the talking was American, they called him Tookes but I think it’s a nickname. He’d been writing a series of books about zombies and ran the website they’d all met on. They all knew each other prior to this. The other 2 men were american too but they stayed in the background and I never caught their names.

They’ve given us a radio to contact them, we’ve offered them a place to stay and food to eat whenever they need it and kindly refused their offer to go to one of the evacuation camps. We’re doing just fine here.

I need to sleep now. It’s been a tiring day.

Diary: 2015 March PART 8.

12th March

12pm I slept in this morning and didn’t have time to write like usual. It’s pouring down today.We got soaked sorting the animals and all came back in to get warm and dry. I took the girls into the school room this morning for a couple of hours and we did some maths and read a story. Because I am setting the curriculum we read some Shakespeare, A midsummer night’s dream and talked about the characters. After dinner we’re going to read some more, then draw pictures of the characters then Mike is coming to show the girls how to load a shotgun. Times have changed. I think tonight I’m going to write a schedule of lessons for the girls, my priorities are numeracy, literacy, science and useful skills like cooking, farming and mechanics along with basic weapons skills and bushcraft. Knowing world geography and history is not top of my list right now, I don’t see the use of it anymore, maybe that will change as we settle into our new life. I was always a big advocate of teaching children languages as early as possible but now things are different and I can’t decide if it’s worth my time. It makes me wonder if this outbreak has gone beyond the UK. If not then I’d have expected to see some signs of rescue by now. Anyway I need to check the food and stop dithering.

5pm Lessons over for the day. I’ve put the girls pictures up on the wall in the classroom and I’ve sent them back into the house. Brett is cooking tea tonight so I have some free time to do my lesson plans and to make some posters for the walls. I’m doing times tables posters, well, I’m meant to be. What I’m actually doing is writing in my diary. I guess this diary is my outlet, a place to think on paper. This afternoon I’m thinking about the world. I dreamed of taking my girls travelling, showing them the world and it’s cultures. There is no chance that is going to happen now and that makes me sad but I think there is lots to learn closer to home. There is a new world to discover and it doesn’t seem like there are many of us left to see it.

10pm We had such a laugh this evening. We told stories of the places we’ve visited and people we met, mainly the stupid ones. I didn’t know that Mike was originally from Scotland although he moved around lots as a child as his father was also a soldier. Brett was from London, you can still hear a little bit of it in his accent, he moved to Wales at 8 years old and was brought up not so far from where we lived. Mike was married a year before all this happened but he split with his wife within weeks of the wedding after he found out she’d cheated. He has no inclination to find out if she’s ok, quite the opposite in fact. Brett has never married but had a girlfriend. I don’t think it was all that serious really because he’s not too bothered about her either! Neither of them have kids (that they know about) and I’m glad. As much as they’d both make great dads it would be awful for them to be wondering if their kids were ok. I know it’d kill me if anything happened to the girls. We talked about our pets, old jobs, hobbies, all kinds of things.

When it was time to go to bed we all said what a nice evening we’d had. They both assured me that they won’t leave like Ash and Paul have. They are both disgusted by the way they’ve just walked out on us. They said we’re a family now and they won’t desert us. I suppose after years of camaraderie in the army they need company as much as we need the help. We are definitely a strong team, getting stronger by the day. Losing James has brought us all much closer. Ash and Paul leaving has made us more determined to stick together. All we have is trust and loyalty, if we don’t trust the person watching our backs we’re dead.

 

12th March

4am We had a hell of a shock earlier. We went to bed shortly after 10pm. We’ve stopped watch duties now the vehicles are parked around the perimeter, anyone coming over them will make enough noise to wake us. At 2am I was woken by Brett in his underpants, shaking my shoulder.

“Get up, Sian, Wake up! There’s a car coming, I can hear the engine”

I jumped out of bed, giving Rob a kick in the shin on the way out. He swore and rolled over so I left him there as I followed Brett into Mikes bedroom. Mike was already out of bed and pulling his trousers on when we burst in to look out of his window towards the road. I couldn’t hear anything at first but as we stood still I thought I caught the faint sound of an engine. “How the hell did you hear that?” I asked Brett. “I was having a smoke out of the window, couldn’t sleep.”

Within a couple of minutes we saw the faint shine of headlights in the distance. “Do you think it’s more of them loonies coming to shoot at us?” Mike whispered. “I have no idea but I reckon we get the guns out just in case” I said and walked out of the room to open the attic door and pull the ladder down. “Stand to, lazy arse” I called in to Rob “We’ve got company on the way” He rolled over to face me and rubbed his eyes. “Whaa? What’s going on?” “car coming down the main lane, about half a mile away. Get some clothes on and help me with these guns.”

By the time I’d got us a shotgun each and a handful of rounds for them all the car was crawling slowly along the lane a few hundred yards away from the entrance to our drive. It couldn’t have been going more than walking pace. As it got to our drive it stopped and we could see the driver shining a torch at the house. We ducked instinctively and waited until we heard the engine rev slightly before we looked again. The car had turned into our driveway and was slowly driving towards the house. “Time for the welcoming party” said Mike as he ran downstairs. “I’ll stay here and cover you”  Brett called after him. I followed Mike down into the kitchen and waited by the door as he stepped outside into the yard. I grabbed the big torch we keep down by the door and got ready to blind whoever was in the car. The car pulled up to the gate which was blocked by a big Toyota landcruiser left by the attackers. The engine switched off and I heard the door open. The interior light came on but I could only make out the shape of a person past the big 4×4 we’d parked there. “Halt” Mike said firmly, shouldering his weapon. The figure was silhouetted by the headlights of the car. “Who goes there?”

“It’s me, Alison. I didn’t know where else to go. They got Becci. Please don’t shoot”

I switched on my torch and shone it towards the figure although I recognised the voice immediately. Alison covered her eyes with her arm. “Ali are you hurt?” I called over. “No I’m ok”

I pointed the torch at her feet and nodded to Mike, he lowered his weapon as Ali came over the gate and into the yard. “come on inside” I said.

We got into the kitchen and were joined by Brett and Rob and a sleepy looking Carys. I lit some candles and put a heavy blanket over the kitchen window before setting the kettle to boil. One good thing about having a wood stove is that if you keep it stocked up well it never goes out. I put an extra few sticks on and sat down at the table while I waited for the kettle to boil.

Ali told us that her and Becci had made it to Betws Gwerfil Goch but the bushcraft guy wasn’t there so they’d holed up in his house. They were doing alright as he’d stocked up like I had but while out looking for supplies Becci had turned her ankle, a day or so later it was no better and they were going to come back here because they thought we might be able to help. On the way they were stopped by a group of men in a 4×4 who took them to a big house and fed them. They thought they were nice but soon realised they weren’t just being good citizens when they started talking about re-populating the world and other lovely things. As they tried to escape Becci was shot. Ali had kept on driving and they managed to hide that night but Becci had died the next morning. Ali had tried to get to us but when her van ran out of petrol she’d had to walk until she could find another car with fuel in. She’d been driving so slowly because she was running out of fuel and was scared of missing the farm in the dark. I asked her why she was travelling at night and she said the men had been looking for her in the daytime and had nearly caught her a couple of times so she’d decided to take her time with the zombies, at least she could out run them.

After a cup of tea Brett brought some blankets downstairs and offered Alison his bed for the rest of the night. He’s bedded down on the sofa. I can’t sleep now for all the excitement so I’m annoying Rob by having a candle burning in the bedroom while I write this to try to tire out my eyes. I’m sad about Becci but I’m really happy to have Ali back safe and sound.

 

Diary: 2015 March PART 7.

10th March

7am No zombies came last night. I talked to Rob in bed about us moving on. He was supportive as always but does think we should stay, we’ve got a pretty secure and secluded base, fresh water, farmland and animals here. We’d have trouble finding anything better. I had to agree. I’m going to call them down for breakfast soon. Brett had last watch so I told him to go to bed when I came down at 5.30am. Mike wants to do some more planting and prepare some veg beds today so we’re all going to help to get it done quicker. I reckon we’ll get it all done in 2 hours if we muck in. Once that’s done the men will take care of the animals while I give take the girls into the outbuilding we picked as a school room. We’re going to paint the walls white today and moved the school desks and chairs into place. We brought a big blackboard and chalks from the school raid so we’ll put that up on the wall and I think Mike is going to put some shelves up for me so I can store their school books. I’m not quite sure where to start at being a teacher. I had a thought last night, the guys who attacked us had obviously been the ones who took Mair and Johns bodies which explains how they left their boys heads on our step. I wonder if they took little Rhys too. I wish I knew what had happened to him. Well the eggs are probably about boiled now. I made bread last night and left it out to prove overnight and I can smell it in the oven now. Boiled eggs and soldiers for breakfast. Good times.

12pm I’ve popped inside to make us all a hot drink so I thought I’d write a bit while the big kettle boils. We got all the planting done and have prepped 2 big beds for the next few weeks of planting. Mike really seems to have taken to being a farmer. He was taking about making a trip to a farm supplier in the next few weeks to get bulk sacks of seeds. He wants to try growing wheat and corn in large amounts so we can store it for next winter. Thats fine by me. Brett is making a start on painting the walls in the school room while Rob cuts some planks to size for my shelves. We need to finish James’ fence too. It’ll be our way of honouring him I suppose. He’d talked about digging ditches and setting sharpened poles to stop intruders. I don’t know if we can manage that with just 4 adults left but we can try. We have the rest of our lives here by the looks of things. Kettle is boiled, I suppose I should get a move on.

6pm We got the school room painted and it dried really quickly with the fresh air. It’s been a lovely warm day today, really sunny for the time of year which has lifted our spirits no end. I’m still mad at Ash and Paul for running out on us but I’m calming down a bit, they must have had a good reason, I hope one day I get to find out what it is. They were the last of my family, I know I still have Rob and the girls and I’m incredibly lucky to have them but Ash was my last tie with the past. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my family is gone now. I hope one day we’ll find them fit and well but it’s not likely. I want to go home and get all our photo albums and things. If we have to make this house our home I want it to feel a bit more like home. Right now I feel like a squatter.

9pm I told everyone that I wanted to go home and get our personal items. Mike and Brett understand and agree that it’s a nice idea but they suggested that rather than getting all our old things that maybe we could go looting for new stuff which we can all pick together. I like that idea. Tomorrow morning we’re going to make our riskiest journey yet. We’re going to our house to pick up photos then we’re going into Chester. We all know that as a source of the original outbreak it’s likely to be full of infected but it was locked down at the first sign of a threat and it’s also likely to be pretty empty. It’s a 50/50 chance, either we’ll come across a huge amount of zombies or very few. It’ll be an interesting experiment either way. Plus being locked down gives us a good chance of finding unlooted stores. I’m planning a trip to the retail park on the outskirts of the city. There are some big home and clothing stores there and also a row of car dealers, including a landrover dealer, plus there’s a big camping and outdoors superstore and some petrol stations. We’re not quite sure how to get the fuel out of the underground storage but Mike thinks he can find a way. We’re taking my landrover, Mike replaced the fuel pipes from one of the attackers vehicles. I’ll put the big horse box trailer on the back to fill. We’re hoping we can find a big delivery truck, ideally I want to get a new sofa. I’m so excited! Early to bed tonight.

11th March

5.30am Excited! I’m up, dressed, breakfast made and keeping warm in the oven, boots on and ready to go. I’m itching to get moving and have been pacing around the kitchen for the last half hour, adding things to our backpacks I’ve put together. I’m taking a shotgun and ammo each, packed lunches, first aid kit, spare fuel and a couple of empty jerries – all the rest are full.  I haven’t been making any effort to stay quiet but nobody will wake up! We didn’t bother with watches last night, instead we parked the many vehicles around the house as a barrier and figured we’d hear anyone coming over them. It’s just starting to get a little bit light. The birds are singing, they are so much louder now there is no other noise. I think I’m going to have to use some of our precious batteries and get the portable cd player out. The house needs music and I need to get everyone awake!

7am I’m not very popular this morning after waking the house with Michael Jackson’s Thriller album! They calmed down after seeing me and the girls dancing around the kitchen and singing along, although there was some talk of hiding the cd player in future. We’re leaving in a few minutes. Mike is giving the landy a quick check over and has it idling in the yard while he listens to the engine. We’re very lucky to have a mechanic with us but god he faffs. I think he’s doing it as revenge for waking him up so early. Brett is milking the cows before we go while Rob is chasing the girls around the yard to wear them out so they sleep on the way.

7pm What a fantastic day. We saw nobody on the journey to our house, not a soul. We saw evidence of other survivors, barricaded houses and freshly smouldering fires here and there but nothing much. It was strange to drive up my old street, it was exactly how we left it. We parked on the drive and went inside. I went straight to get the photo albums and came out, everyone else stayed in the landy. We left within 5 mins of arriving. While I was inside I left the radio transmitter that I’d been given at the army camp. I’m not really sure why I did it but I didn’t want it with us at the farm anymore.

We drove to Chester without seeing any signs of life. There had been a road block on Sealand Road last time we came down here nearly 2 months ago. The block was still there but nobody was manning it. We were able to push the barrier with the landy, just enough to fit through. Once past the block we got the smell. The smell of rotting bodies was thick around there and I hoped it was just the surrounding housing estate. We drove on, past the petrol station and the outdoors store and farm suppliers. As we approached the blocks of flats before the retail park the smell of death got stronger again. We turned the corner before the first of the car dealerships and saw a huge pile of bodies in the road. They’d been there for a good while by the state of them. We rolled up the windows and I crawled around the pile. There were army uniforms mixed in with the remains, I guessed the locals had tried to break through the road blocks. More bodies were scattered around the road and paths, all in pretty bad shape, most were little more than clothed skeletons, the wildlife had done a good job on them. We saw a fox running across the road ahead of us. We pulled into the retail park. The car parks were nearly empty, just the odd car here and there, some with flat tyres, others looked like they’d been parked there that morning. Our first stop was John Lewis. The big glass frontage was untouched. We went around the back of the building to the loading doors. Our first piece of good luck, a large lorry was parked at the loading doors, the shutters were down on the building but the lorry was open and empty. The driver was inside the cab, rotting nicely and trying to get out at us. Mike jumped out and opened the drivers door. the zombie fell out to the ground and struggled to get to his feet. Mike stamped on his skull 3 or 4 times until he lay still then dragged him by the ankle out of our way. The keys were in the ignition, Mike pulled his coat collar over his face to try to stop the awful smell and climbed in. The truck started on the second turn and Mike announced it was 3/4 full of diesel.

We opened the shutters with no problems and were faced by a small group of zombies, obviously staff who had been left behind. We dealt with them easily, they were slow and unsteady and the light blinded them for long enough for us to take them out before they saw us coming. Inside was dark and we flicked out torches on. Inside the loading area was piled high with boxes. I wasn’t going through all the boxes so we walked to the doors to the main store. Inside the main store was more light thanks to the large glass frontage. I picked out all new pans, plates, cutlery, all the things I’d seen and had never been able to afford. I looked for some trolleys to load up but was beaten to it by Brett who appeared through the stores door with a hand wheeled forklift thingie used for moving pallets. He’d put an empty pallet on it ready for me. Rob had found trolleys and followed me around, loading up the smaller items I wanted while Brett took care of the bigger things. When we got to the furniture I pointed out a couple of bits that I liked and made a note of the sofas we liked then went back to the storeroom to see if it was in stock. We couldn’t find the larger items of furniture in storage and figured they must have been delivery items from a larger unit somewhere so we went back for the display models. We took 2 sofas and a new armchair, new mattresses and bedframes and the entire selection of Le Crueset cookwares.

Our next stop was Dunhelm Mill across the carpark. We stocked up on bedlinen and towels, curtains, throw-overs and artificial flowers to brighten the place up a bit and some pretty bits and pieces. I grabbed a few various sized rugs on the way out. We drove the lorry back across the carpark to Next and broke through a section of the front window. Once inside we had to dispatch some ex-staff before we loaded up on some new clothes and shoes. I got every pair of knickers and underpants that would fit any of us, washing clothes in a bucket was not ideal and our smalls weren’t designed for it. Holey undercrackers is not nice, even post-apocalypse.

We moved the lorry over to Halfords and I waited inside this time while Mike and Rob went in to grab some tools and car parts. They came out with a trolley each full of parts then went back inside. They returned a few minutes later with a new bike each for the girls and went back to get a bike each for us too. The last thing they grabbed was a bike trailer each so we could carry stuff. The next stop was Toys R Us. Once we’d made sure there was nothing nasty inside we let the girls run wild and pick pretty much what they wanted. I got a whole trolley of books, pens, pencils, paints and science kits etc. Anything I thought might help with their schooling.

Once done Mike drove us in the lorry back to where we’d left the landy and I followed him as he drove to the big Homebase superstore. Me and the girls went to get some hanging baskets and veg seeds while the men loaded up with wood and nails and blokey things. The next stop was the outdoor store and farm store. We’d decided to leave the Landrover dealership as we had plenty of tools and parts and way too many vehicles already. As we pulled into the car park of the Great Outdoors store we could see someone had been here before us, the windows were broken and the farm shop was in the same state. We shone our torches inside and saw the shelves were empty so we got back in to our vehicles and came back to the farm. It took us hours to unload and put everything away. The house feels more like home now with our choice of furniture and curtains. I feel much happier. We have a bedroom each with brand new beds and mattresses and linen for tonight so I’ve been boiling water constantly for the last hour so we can all have a nice bath. We definitely are a good team. I feel much better for going shopping. I think we all needed to get away from this house.

Diary: 2015 March PART 6.

6th March cont’d

10am Mike has spent most of the yesterday dragging the bodies of our attackers into a pile by the gate. He reckons we got 62. Some were badly injured and I’m ashamed to say that after trying to interrogate the ones capable of talking they were killed. We didn’t get much information, just that they’d been watching us and they wouldn’t give up until they had our supplies. Mike has also been busy dissecting the vehicles left by the attackers, taking the best of them for our own and stripping the remainder to fix our sabotaged vehicles and storing parts for future use.

Paul and Ashley have been fixing our windows and trying to fix the kitchen wall where Paul crashed into it.

Me, Rob, the girls and Brett have been watching over James. By midday yesterday he’d woken up slightly, we crushed some painkillers into water and helped him to drink as much as he could. We’ve seriously overdosed him but I’d rather make sure his last hours are comfortable than worry about damaging his internal organs. Around 7pm last night he woke up enough to talk to us. He is truly the most brave man I’ve ever known. He said he knew he was going to die and I wasn’t going to lie to him, he deserves our honesty. I explained what happened when we tried to set his leg. He took it well, I think my pain-pill cocktail helped some. He understands we had to try, he said he doesn’t blame us and I believe him. We couldn’t just leave him as he was. The clampy scissors are holding well. I think that the blood has clotted around them but I’m trying not to mess with it too much. His foot is going a worrying blotchy red/black I assume is a sign of the restricted blood flow, it’s cold too.

We had about 10 zombies come last night but they just feasted on the pile of dead by the gate and we let them be. A couple wandered up to the house but soon went back to the buffet we’d left for them. James had a quiet night, slept lots, drank painkiller when he woke, slept more.

When I finished writing earlier this morning he’d been asleep for a good couple of hours. I went into the living room and sat on the floor next to him, I could feel the heat coming off him like a radiator. He’s been delirious since 9am, shouting and talking gibberish. He spent a little time explaining the history of his old regiment over and over again. When I left the room he was crying to his mum and reaching out to her. I don’t think he has long left. I’ve been checking on his leg every hour and other than adding another layer of gauze pads to soak up the bleeding I’ve done nothing more. I feel so guilty but at the same time I know we did what had to be done. He saved my life and I’ve repaid him by ending his. I know in my heart he’d have died if we’d done nothing and maybe that would have been just as hard to live with.

Mike is out in the yard still, I can see him through the window. He’s stripping the crashed 4×4 for parts. I don’t know where Brett is. He went out earlier to do something and hasn’t been back since. Ash and Paul are upstairs, they’ve been really quiet.

11.15am James has died. It was peaceful. The scissor clamp gave up and he bled out. I didn’t realise how much blood one person can hold. He slipped away in his sleep and I don’t think he felt any pain at the end. His breathing got more shallow and eventually stopped. I fought the useless urge to try to resuscitate and let him go. It was just me and Rob in the room. Rob went to fetch the others, Paul and Ash came down and said goodbye, Mike came in a few minutes later. We still can’t find Brett but I’m sure he won’t be far away. Carys gave James a big hug goodbye, Seren is too little to understand properly but we’ve tried to explain to her that he was poorly and he won’t be with us anymore. He’s still lying on the sofa, we covered him in a clean sheet and I washed his hands and face. We’re going to dress him in his uniform later, I think he would have liked that.

7pm Brett came back about an hour ago. He hasn’t said much. I heard him crying in the living room earlier. Paul and Ash have stayed upstairs pretty much all day. Our little family doesn’t feel so tight anymore.

7th March

2pm We buried James this morning. Brett had been digging his grave yesterday, that’s why he was missing for so long. I wish he’d got one of us to help but I suppose it was something he needed to do. They’d been good friends for a long time. I hadn’t realised. Obviously I knew they had been friends but Brett told me some stories last night of the times they’d had, the bars and women, the friends they’d gained and lost. I wish I’d had the chance to get to know James better. He came into our lives for a reason, he saved my life, maybe all our lives and I’ll never ever forget him. We didn’t feel right saying a prayer when we buried him so we all said a few words. Perhaps it’s fitting that the first early daffodils are just coming out. Brett had picked a spot at the edge of a field near some trees where the daffodils are growing wild. Before we left me and Ash sang “We’ll keep a welcome” as a final goodbye to our friend. RIP James Davies.

8th March

7am We’re going to force ourselves to get some work done today. None of us feel like it but it has to be done. First priority is to get rid of the bodies and half eaten remains of our attackers. The zombies came again last night, this time there were more of them. Again we were largely ignored in favour of the pile of meat outside. We did discuss leaving the bodies where they are as a distraction while we make ourselves more secure but to be honest I can’t bear looking at them and it’s surprising how many flies they attract even in early March.

8pm We got all the bodies moved, it took 2 trips. The school yard is getting quite full now. The smell is unreal, so bad we’ve given up on laying them out in lines and we literally pulled them out of the trailer and left them where they dropped. The first batch of zombies we dumped here are now in pretty bad shape, blackened and melted and stinking. It’s a strange smell unlike anything else I’ve ever smelled, a sickly sweet rotten smell kinda similar to almonds maybe. They’re crawling with maggots, the ones from last week seem to have the most. You can actually see the skin moving on the skinnier ones as the little buggers squirm around inside. They are also leaking, a nasty brown fluid that smells as bad as the bodies and you don’t want to be getting that on your clothes. One thing we’ve noticed is they all have their mouths open. I don’t know why, maybe their skin drying out stretches their mouth, whatever causes it  I don’t like it.

Anyway, we managed to salvage a nice supply of weapons and vehicles, we now have 57 shotguns, all the shooters were carrying ammo so we have somewhere in the region of 600 rounds for the shotguns. I’m no expert on them and Brett is going to talk us through using them tomorrow sometime and show us which rounds go with which guns. We also got a selection of knifes, machetes and various other melee weapons. We’ve put most of them in the attic out of harms way. Ash and Paul went upstairs again after we had tea and we haven’t seen them since. Me and Rob have been chatting with Mike and Brett all afternoon, getting to know each other better. They’re good guys, I like them both lots.

9th March

6am I’m back to my usual routine of getting up early to make breakfast. The house seems so quiet. Mike was on the last watch and is asleep in the armchair in the living room. It’s still dark out but I said I’d keep an eye on things, he looked so tired. We’re going to burn the sofa today, maybe we’ll have to take up the carpet too. The sofa is soaked with James’ blood and I think it’s gone through to the floor. I pulled a bit of the carpet up by the dining room door and it’s tiled underneath so it’ll be ok if we remove it.

8am I called everyone down for breakfast just after 7am, the girls came running down first as usual, followed by Brett. Mike was already in the kitchen with me as I’d woken him up when I was laying the table. Apparently I’m a noisy bugger. Rob took a few more calls but came down eventually in a grump. He doesn’t do mornings. We were halfway through our breakfast when the girls finished theirs so I sent them upstairs to knock for Ash and Paul. They came back down a few minutes later saying they weren’t answering so Rob went up, calling them lazy sods and telling them to move themselves. He came downstairs looking puzzled. “They’re not there”

At first I though maybe they’d gone out early to do something but they couldn’t have because I’d have seen them. Paul handed over his watch to Mike and went to bed at 2am, I was up at around 5.30am so they must have left at some point between those times. No wonder they’ve been so quiet, I thought they were just sad about James but they must have been planning this. Why would they sneak out in the night? If they wanted to leave we wouldn’t have stopped them. I feel so betrayed that they didn’t trust us enough to talk to us. Not even a note.

9am Mike just came in and told us that one of the 4x4s has gone. rob has checked the attic, there are 4 shotguns gone and some rounds although we haven’t bothered counting how many. My machete is also gone as is my crowbar which Ashley had favoured. I’m so mad. I’m going to check my stores.

9.30am Not surprisingly they’ve taken food and medical supplies. There are a couple of camping stoves and gas gone too. Why have they left like this? Ashley is like a brother to me, why didn’t he talk to me? They must have been planning this, I think Paul has probably taken the supplies while he was on watch duty last night and hidden them in the 4×4 they’d chosen then at some point they’ve managed to sneak out without Mike hearing them. I don’t know how they did it. I’m going to milk the cows. I’m too angry to stay in the house.

5pm I’m waiting for our casserole to finish cooking. Rob and Mike are in the field planting something, Brett is in the front garden burning stuff. We did take the carpet up in the end. it’s scary how fast a sofa burns, the carpet is taking longer so we’ve been burning other stuff we don’t need. I’ve been thinking lots today. I don’t know if I want to stay here. This house has fresh water which is a valuable commodity now and it’s unusual to find a house with it’s own water pump but it holds too many bad memories already and we’ve only been here a few weeks. I know life is going to be hard wherever we go but I just don’t want to be here. I guess I need to sleep on it.

I can’t get my head around the fact that 2 days ago there were 9 of us. Now there are 6 left. We make a good team.

Diary: 2015 March PART 5.

6th March

7am I had to stop writing last night, my head was pounding. I’ve got a beautiful bruise on my forehead and a big black eye this morning.

When I woke up I was on the kitchen floor surrounded by broken glass. I had no idea how I’d got there. Outside I could hear men shouting but I couldn’t make any sense of the voices. I tried to sit up and the room spun around. I lay back down and must have passed out again. I woke again to hear Rob calling my name and telling me to wake up. My vision was blurred and my head felt like it’d been crushed. Rob helped me to sit up and after a couple of minutes my vision cleared enough to see straight. I asked what had happened, he told me that James had sneaked out through the front door and over to the drive and driven a 4×4 at the group holding me. My memory started to clear and I remembered being shoved to the floor as the men scattered from the oncoming vehicle. Rob asked me if I could stand and I said I’d try. He helped me to my feet and told me they really needed my help. James hadn’t been able to brake in time after driving at the men and had crashed the 4×4 into the side of the house. At this point Brett and Mike had ran outside and tried to pick off the remaining men, Ashley and Paul had joined them soon afterwards. I asked if anyone was injured, Rob nodded and looked sad, he slowly led me into the living room.

James was lying on the sofa with a blanket covering him from his feet to his waist. He was bare-chested and Mike was holding a damp flannel to his head. Paul was sitting in the armchair with a sling on and Ashley fussing at him. I noticed the broken windows had been covered with thick wool blankets and bits of wood to try to keep the draughts out. “What time is it?” I asked quietly. Rob looked at his watch “10.20am” I’d been out cold for a fair while. Brett saw heard us talking and stood up from where he’d been sitting on the floor, reading a book. He nodded towards the dining room and we followed him in.

“Good to see you on your feet, how’s your head?” “Hurting” I replied “What’s the damage?”

“I’m no medic but I reckon James has a pretty nasty break to his right leg, Paul has a gunshot wound in his left shoulder but he hasn’t let anyone look at it yet. Ash has hurt his ankle, probably a sprain. I’m ok, Rob is ok and the girls are perfect and playing upstairs.”

“Can you bring my medical supplies please?” I asked and Brett nodded then went through the door into the kitchen to go down to the cellar. I walked back into the living room and went to James. I stroked his cheek and said “Hey there big guy, you ok?” His eyelids fluttered but I got no other response. “I’m gonna take a look at this leg, see if we can fix you up” I told him as I lifted the blanket. Brett had bandaged and splinted the leg as best he could but it was a mess and it was all I could do not to gag. As I gently peeled away the bloody bandages I could see the pinky white of the bone in a dark red jelly of congealing blood. His tibia was shattered, fragments of bone digging into his flesh where the bone had torn a path through. Even on the tv I’d never seen such a bad break. I guessed he’d had his foot on the brake pedal when he’d hit the wall. “Have you checked him over everywhere else?” I asked. Nobody answered so I guessed that was a no. I also guessed he hadn’t been wearing a seatbelt but I checked his left clavicle first just in case. No break. By now Brett had arrived with my big medical box and was leaving to fetch the smaller ones. I told Rob to get a bucket clean boiled water and some antibacterial handwash from the kitchen. He was straight back, apparently they’d boiled water while I was unconscious. I took off my shirt so I was just in a sleeveless vest and lathered myself up to the elbows. As I washed my hands I asked them to get my books and file and then to scrub up aswell. I put on a plastic apron and latex gloves and started to do a top to toe check on James. I couldn’t feel any obvious breaks or dislocations so I got my scissors out and started to cut away his trousers. “Brett take off your belt” Brett looked at me but did as I asked. “get ready to shove it in his mouth, this is going to hurt” Once the clothing was out of the way I got to work on properly removing the bandage around his leg. They’d done a good job and had strapped him up tightly enough to slow the bleeding but not so tight to stop blood flow to his foot. Once the bandage and splint was out of the way I took a handful of gauze pads and some steri-pods and started to carefully irrigate the wound. James groaned and tried to move. Rob held his shoulders and talked gently to him. There were little bits of bone all over but the wound was otherwise pretty clean. I took some tweezers and started to gently remove the shards of bone. I heard Carys and Seren coming downstairs. “Mummy you’re awake!” they shouted “ssshhh Mr James is poorly” I told them. Seren went over to Ashley and he gave her a big cuddle then said “come into the kitchen with Bumpy and we’ll try to find some cake”. Carys came around to my side of the sofa. “What you doing?” she asked. “James’ leg is badly broken baby, I’m trying to fix him if I can” “Can I help?” she said. “Maybe, go was your hands and put some gloves on. Put a bobble in your hair first” she trotted off and was back a couple of minutes later. She put on a plastic apron and settled next to me. Together we looked for little bits of bone. Carys passed me things and held the torch so we could see. Her young eyes saw tiny fragments I’d have missed. After about 30mins we were happy we’d got all of the bone. James had been writhing around for parts of our search but was now lying still again. I wished I had anaesthetic but I’d never have known what dose to use and would probably have killed him with it but it didn’t stop me feeling bad for inflicting this pain on him. I knew there was worse to come. By now we could see the jagged ends of the broken bone, he needed traction to straighten his leg but I don’t have the equipment to do it. Without attempting to set his leg he’d never walk again. Even if we managed to set it he’d always have a pretty bad limp, this is assuming he didn’t die of infection or blood loss or shock in the meantime. It was looking pretty bleak whatever I chose to do.

I poked Brett in the back with my elbow. “I need to straighten his leg, I’m not going to be strong enough by myself. With no anaesthetic the pain could kill him. If we don’t do this he’ll never walk again. Are you in?”

Brett looked at the belt in his hands and said “lets go have a smoke and decide how we do it. We only have one shot at this, he doesn’t deserve for us to cock it up” I nodded and covered the open wound with gauze then stood up and removed my gloves and apron. Carys said she’d stay with James and Rob said he would too. Me and Brett went into the kitchen and sat at the table. I could hear Ashley down in the cellar with Seren, probably raiding my sweetie supplies. I explained how the bone was lying and that we needed to pull his foot downwards by about 2cm to get it back straight, then we’d need to secure it there while it healed. He asked how quickly it needed to be done and I told him as soon as we could preferably. I explained that if the fracture wasn’t fixable it would leave us 2 options. Leave it be and let him drag it around for the rest of his life or kill him attempting to amputate. Brett looked me in the eye “honestly, what are his chances?” I thought about it for a minute before replying “Not good”.

I stood up from the table and looked out through an unbroken section of the kitchen window. Outside was carnage, they’d brought James and Paul in and killed whoever they could then left the bodies where they’d fallen. Brett had quietly gotten up from the table and made me jump as he stood behind me. “do we have 15 mins before we pull his leg?” he asked. “Yeah sure, I’ll take a look at Paul’s shoulder”

Brett went into the dining room and picked up the machete Ash had been using then went outside. I walked back into the living room as I saw him take the knife to the head of one of the dead attackers.

Paul had put his arm in a sling himself. He took it off so I could see. The gunshot wound was just a scrape on the bony part of his shoulder. It was slightly charred but nothing too serious, he’d been very lucky. I washed my hands and put my gloves on then cleaned and dressed his shoulder and put his sling back on him. I sat on the floor next to Carys, she was holding James’ hand. I told her that we were going to pull his leg so that his bone would be straight again. She seemed to understand and asked if she could help. I told her to go the cellar and get Bumpy and Seren and we’d all do it together. She ran out of the room, happy to have such an important job.

I leaned over James and said “J can you hear me? I need to try to fix your leg but it’s gonna hurt like a bitch. You scream all you like and I promise you if we can do it right it’s going to feel better straight away.” His eyes opened slightly. He looked at me and whispered “I’m gonna die” I stared at his deep brown eyes “maybe big fella but we got to try” He nodded and closed his eyes again then gave my hand a little squeeze.

15mins later Brett and Rob tried to pull his leg back into place while Ashley lay over him to keep him still. Paul held the leather belt between James teeth. Seren hid under the table, scared by James’ screams of pain. As the bone moved a fountain of blood shot up and stained the ceiling, covering us in a fine mist. I shoved gauze into the hole and told them to keep pulling. As the bones got into position I got Brett to tie his foot to the knob of a tallboy chest of drawers we’d placed at the side of the sofa. Brett and Rob started to re-attach the splint to his leg as I removed the gauze to try and see where the bleeding was coming from. As soon as the gauze was moved there was another pulsing jet of blood. “I can’t see where it’s coming from!” Carys shone the torch closer to the wound and said “I see it mummy”. Before I could do anything she’d pushed her little fingers into the wound and pinched off the vein that had been severed. James was trying to fight in agony but his movements were getting weaker. I reached into the medical box and pulled out some clampy scissor thingies I’d picked up on ebay. I never honestly thought I’d need this stuff but it looked good in the box and it’d been cheap. I clamped the vein just above where Carys was holding and told her to let go. It held and the bleeding slowed to a slow trickle. I stood up and pulled off my apron and gloves as I walked out, grabbing my book as I went. I opened the medical book on the kitchen table and flicked through the pages until I found what I wanted. Once they’d finished securing James leg, Rob and Brett joined me. I couldn’t stop the tears as I turned the book to show them the picture I was looking at.

“I think we just severed his anterior tibial artery.”

They looked at me with worried faces. “What does that mean?” Rob asked

“It supplies his foot with blood. I can’t fix it. I don’t have the equipment or skills. He’ll either bleed out on the sofa or his foot will die without the full blood supply and poison him. Either way we can’t save him now”

Diary: 2015 March PART 4.

5th March

5am We’re sitting in the kitchen, waiting. We have hot chocolate but none of us feel like eating yet. The girls are still asleep, as soon as someone comes they’re being moved into the attic. I’ve left plenty of torches up there and have put some books and colouring things there for them. I’m really scared, we have no idea what we’re facing but they are sneaky and fast, they proved that by getting the boys heads onto our step and sabotage our vehicles without us seeing or hearing them. We were only a few hundred yards away yet they managed to get to our front door. They must have come through the fields which is a good mile walk in any direction, any closer and we’d have heard engines. Why didn’t we think of looking for them straight away? Hindsight is a curse. We’re as ready as we can be I think. We’ve picked our firing spots so both gates are covered and so is the field and we’ve shared out the ammunition. James, Mike and Brett are staying upstairs with their rifles to try and pick off as many as possible at distance. Paul is going into the top of the barn with Ash, Paul will have his rifle and Ash has a selection of melee weapons, they will try to get any that come into the yard. I have my little air rifle and my job is to slow them down, thigh and stomach shots, if they appear to be wearing body armour I’ll stick to legs and arms. I need to slow them down. Rob is in charge of keeping the girls safe and guarding our supplies as last resort, he’ll also be running ammo if needed although Paul is on his own when he runs out of rounds. Every shot needs to count. I have my napalm jar too. I’m not sure what I’ll do with it but I feel better having something burny. I was thinking of sticky bombs but I don’t know how to make the explosive part and I doubt I’d have the stuff needed anyway. Paul and Ash are going to the barn now.

11.30pm They came shortly after 7am, it was just light. We heard their engines approaching over the dawn chorus, the birds seemed louder than usual but maybe it was just me. I ran to the bathroom window and stood on the edge of the bath to see out past the frosting on the glass. There was a convoy of 4x4s coming down the road. They parked at the end of our driveway. A man in camo gear got out with a loud hailer and said

“Surrender now and you may go free. Fight and you will die.”

I went into the bedroom where James was watching through the window, he’d pushed a wardrobe over most of the window to cover himself and was kneeling down with his elbow resting on an upturned drawer. We’d taken the opening side of the windows we were firing from off their hinges.

“This is your last chance. Surrender now or we will attack”

I heard James muttering at under his breath next to me “No way matey” as he lined up his shot. His finger had the trigger depressed to the first notch and I could see him controlling his breath, ready to shoot. I looked back at the vehicles on the road. There were 7 assorted 4x4s each capable of carrying between 5 and 12 adults, if full I estimated over 50 armed persons against 4 armed soldiers, me Ash and Rob. This was assuming there were no more coming through the fields out of my sight. The odds weren’t good. I could feel James doing the same mental arithmetic as me and was pretty sure the others would be doing the same. I could hear Rob above us in the attic and thought of my babies up there. I got my air rifle and went downstairs, on the way out I said “good luck J” “We’re gonna need it sweetie” he replied quietly.

Once in the kitchen I could see Paul in the barn, he was making no attempt to conceal himself yet, I guessed because he couldn’t see the cars. He disappeared from the hole in the barn wall where we’d taken some of the bricks out yesterday. We’d made 3 vantage points in the barn wall covering each direction.

“They’re on the move” James called quietly. I heard Mike and Brett moving slightly, adjusting their firing positions I guessed. I heard the engines approaching up the drive. James’ voice came down the stairs “Let them come” We all stood ready, I was shaking slightly and I wondered if I could hold my aim. The head vehicle stopped at the gate and four men got out, all in combat clothing. I heard someone coming down the stairs, Brett came into the kitchen “can’t get a clear shot up there, why isn’t he letting us fire?” “I don’t know but I’m sure he has a good reason” I replied. The men didn’t appear to be armed. Three of them stood at the gate while one went to the back of the 4×4 and came back with bolt cutters. He cut through our chain and pushed the gate. It swung slowly and noisily open, the high-pitched squeak too loud for such a quiet morning.

“Pick your shot, wait for them to come through the gate then fire at will”

“about bloody time” said Brett. He shouldered his rifle as he walked into the dining room. We’d cut notches out of the window frame to fire through.

A loud crack came from upstairs followed closely by another, through the window I saw the first 2 men fall to the ground. The remaining 2 ran back to their vehicle and dived inside, I heard Brett fire one shot in the next room, I’d never been this close to live firing without ear defenders and the report rang in my ears. A second later the man on the passenger side slid out and fell to the ground.

“Either side of the vehicles, single file, maybe 15 or 20, at the double, all armed, shoot at will” James’ voice sounded calm as he gave the order. We all responded. I knew my part was to slow any that got past the gate and into the yard. Once past the gate they were mine. I rested the muzzle of the rifle on the kitchen worktop and waited. Within 10 seconds the men were in view, they fanned out as they approached the gate, staying bent double and trying to stay in cover of the vehicles. James and Mike fired a couple of shots each and I heard thumps and groans from outside. One of the men was at the drivers side of the 4×4 in plain view for me, he was taking aim with a shotgun. “4×4 drivers side crouching down” I called “got him” came Mikes voice from upstairs, closely followed by a crack and the man folded over on himself.

Now the men started shooting. I couldn’t see any of them but their shots didn’t seem to be doing anything, I was thinking surely they can’t miss an entire house when I heard shots coming from the barn, “shit they’ve seen Paul” I said. “I can’t get a shot” called Brett “same here mate” Mike shouted down. “More coming from the field, towards the back of the barn, maybe 10 all armed”

I knew we were in trouble, heavily outnumbered and outgunned, these guys were organised. I saw men approaching the back gate, the lead man knelt at the lock and as he was opening it I lined up a shot. I went for the torso, hoping to wind him at worst. I fired my little rifle and immediately started to reload, as I pushed the round in I looked up and saw the man on the ground, shuffling backwards into cover “nice shot” said Brett “Right in the shoulder, he won’t be shooting for a bit” “I was going for his chest” I replied with a little laugh “they all count” Brett chuckled

As I raised my rifle to my shoulder to take my next shot the men at the front gate came in force. At least 20 ran into the yard, firing at the windows as they ran. The kitchen window shattered and I hit the floor, getting showered in glass in the process. I counted to 3 to settle my nerves, took a deep breath and got to my feet, crouching below the level of the worktop. The guys were firing almost constantly, single shots. I saw men dropping to the floor, some obviously dead, most badly wounded. I took a shot at one running towards the house and got him square in the thigh. He screamed as he fell but kept hold of his shotgun. They all seemed to have shotguns. As the majority of the men were taken down the next wave came. Our windows must have all been shot out in the first wave and now they had clear views but so did we and we had the benefit of brick walls to hide behind.

I heard Brett changing his magazine in the next room as I reloaded my rifle and picked my next target. They were coming fast. I could see more running down the drive and shouted to the guys to warn them. One of the injured men was crawling towards the house and I shot him in the back. He seemed to spasm and cried out then lay still, his hand still on the trigger of his shotgun.

As I crouched down to reload I saw something fly past my head and heard a smash behind me. A blast of flames shot up by the stove and the heat made my skin feel too tight. I put down my rifle and grabbed a bucket of water from by the sink and threw it over the flames, then stamped out the last burning parts. I quickly glanced outside and saw more men coming with molotovs. They threw them at the house. A few missed and smashed on the walls, the others must have found their targets as I heard James shouting “fire!” from upstairs. We hadn’t planned for this and I’d just thrown my only bucket of water over the first fire. I ran into the living room and grabbed the blankets we’d used earlier this morning from the sofa and ran upstairs. i went into the bedroom where James was and threw a blanket over the flames, he was still firing and hadn’t moved from his position. The bed was in flames and I tried to smother them. I was failing badly so I wrapped the blanket around my hands and balled up the burning sheets. “Mind out” I said and threw the burning sheets through the broken window. I saw blood on James face “Broken glass got me when they shot the window” he said when he saw me look. There were a few smouldering patches on the mattress and I forced my wrapped up hands onto the burning spots to put them out. I ran from room to room checking for fires. Mike called “In here” and I went to him. The bottle hadn’t broken this time and the rag was just scorching the carpet. I picked it up carefully and stamped out the carpet “They can have this one back” I said and threw it back out of the window, roughly aimed at the hedge where Mike was firing. I didn’t stay to see if I’d done any good, I needed to get back downstairs.

Another group was running into the yard, there was no cover for them and we had pretty clear shots. As I got into the kitchen I saw the door was open “oh shit” I thought. I’d left my rifle in there and was unarmed. I turned to go back into the dining room and felt an arm slip around my throat. Before I could scream or shout a rough hand covered my mouth. I kicked the door as hard as I could, hoping Brett would realise something was wrong.

“Keep it down lady” said a mans voice in my ear as I was dragged towards the back door. The man holding me pulled me kicking and fighting into the yard. He walked me backwards right into the middle. The firing from the house stopped.

“Surrender now and I’ll let her live” he shouted right down my ear. I tried to shake my head. I hoped they would keep firing. They are all good marksmen and I trusted them to try for a shot at him, even while he was holding me. I stopped struggling and stood as still as I could to give them a clear shot.

The other men in the yard and bushes came out from their cover and stood around me and the man holding me. I looked around as much as I could without moving my head. they’d suffered many losses and there appeared to be maybe 10 left. I was thinking “we can take these” as I heard James shouting down to the man “let her go and we’ll let you live, how about that?”

“Very funny, you know that’s not going to happen” he called back “You’ve done well so far but we have more troops on the way. Give up now and we’ll spare the children.”

My heart skipped a beat, they’d been watching us, they knew we had the girls in the house. I was thinking “please shoot him” but I knew they couldn’t take the chance with so many others around. I looked up and couldn’t see anyone at the windows, I wasn’t surprised, they were too good to let themselves be obvious targets.

We stood in deadlock. Neither side showing any signs of backing down. I knew the guys would be planning something but I had no idea what. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid to let myself be grabbed. I wondered how they’d got the back door open, I knew I’d locked it, then I remembered the broken window. I pictured someone reaching through and unlocking the door. How did Paul not see them though?

An engine fired up over by the gate. I felt the man holding me turn to look as the lead 4×4 drove straight at us, accelerating as it came. It was a short distance and the men scattered as it came, starting to fire at it. The man holding me shoved me to the ground and I hit my head on the yard. I saw stars and then everything went black

Diary: 2015 March PART 3.

3rd March

4pm We had no attacks last night and I actually got a lie in, hence no morning entry. It was nice to have everyone together in the kitchen with me while I was cooking although I did miss my quiet thinking time. We’ve spent the day putting up the fences the guys brought back yesterday. They went up really quickly with us all pitching in and apart from a lack of shovels to share the digging we managed pretty well. We now have a fence across the whole front of the house and garden and part of the front field. There was already a small wire fence there but now it’s a solid wood one, enough to stop zombies and keep the house out of sight from prying eyes. We need more panels and posts to do the sides of the field and around the back. While we were putting the fence up we talked about changing the house around to make more room and useful space. I’m going to make one of the stables into a classroom. We found some paint in the cellar when we were tidying so I can make it nice and bright. Next time we take any bodies to the school we’re going to break in and get a couple of desks and school supplies. the girls are getting bored and they’re both too clever to not have a proper education although I think my curriculum will be slightly different to what they would have been learning. We have also tied tin cans on strings to the main gate and the gate to the field so we’ll hear if anyone tries to come over them. James put barbed wire around both gates too so nobody can slip over them easily. We were going to put cans across the driveway but it’ll be a pain having to move them when we’re coming and going so we’re going to think of something else. I reckon we need a few dogs in the yard but thinking about it I’ve seen very few. I guess most of them will have starved, locked inside their houses. Poor things.

We saw the man from the schoolyard this afternoon. He was walking down the road chatting away to himself with his can of beer in one hand and a small crate under the other arm. Again he didn’t even speak to us. Very strange. Paul is certain he was carrying a different brand of beer today, he must have a stash somewhere. I wonder where he’s sleeping and how he’s defending himself. Maybe he’s a ninja on the quiet, I’d like to see that. He looks like a tramp.

 

4th March

7am We had a very long night. There were zombies coming in groups of 2 or 3 every half an hour or so. Mike and Brett were on first shift and were killing them with the machete and a crowbar to keep the noise down and save ammo. They had to finish early and hand over to James and Paul because they were so tired. We have a right pile this morning. There must have been 40 through the night, more than we’ve had to deal with before. I think they must be coming from the bigger towns further away, they’ve certainly had enough time to walk here. We’re just waiting for full light to move them. James is outside now hooking up the trailer and getting the tarps ready. Rob is going to stay with the girls so I can go to the school and pick my supplies then we’re all going to try and finish the fencing as best as we can today. I think we’re going to try to acquire some tall gates for the end of the driveway too.

3pm We got back from the school just after 11am and went straight into the field to sort the fences. I got my school supplies that I wanted and we saw some more fences which we’ll go back for another day. Today we just made safe the work we did yesterday and dug holes for more poles when we get them. When we all got back to the house the plan was to have a brew then get started on the school room and moving stuff around in the house. As we came through the gate into the yard we saw 2 round shapes on the step. My heart sank. As we got closer there was no doubt, it was the heads of Bryn and Dewi Griffiths, the 2 boys that were meant to have been zombied. Their decapitated heads didn’t look zombied, I’ve seen a few zombie heads now so I think I’m qualified to judge. Under the stump of Bryns neck there was a note in a clear plastic bag.

 

Thieves

This is your only warning

We will be back tomorrow to take back what you have stolen from us

You will return our property then leave our land or we will kill your children while you watch

Welsh Defense League

Brett lifted the little heads into an empty box and set them on one side while I poured water  over the step to wash away the blood. I had so many questions swirling around in my head. Why would Mair lie about the boys being infected? Who were these people who had killed them? Why did they kill them? Did they take Mairs body and Johns remains too? Do they also have Rhys? Are they the people from Ruthin?

We went into the kitchen and sat at the table. Ashley put the kettle on the stove and we sat in silence until the kettle whistled. We didn’t see anyone coming to the house. How did they sneak past us? They must have come through the back field. Mike jumped up and ran outside, grabbing a crowbar on the way out “Back in 5 minutes”. We sat in silence again. James was stoking his stubble, deep in thought, Brett was picking at his fingernails. Rob gave my had a squeeze under the table as I stroked Serens hair. A few minutes later Mike came running back into the yard. He rushed into the kitchen and threw the crowbar down onto the tiled floor. “They’ve been at the vehicles. Fuel pipes cut on all of them. I bloody thought I could smell fuel when we came into the yard”

He slumped into his chair, shaking his head. “Can you fix them?” I asked. “Oh yeah I can fix them alright, not a problem, I just need the parts. I’m guessing I can get fuel pipes from the cars left parked up and bodge a repair until I can get the right bits, but I’ve gotta get to them first, it’s a hell of a walk to the nearest car and who’s to say they haven’t been at them too? I might be able to get one of the landys going with some duct tape or something but the fuel will cut through the adhesive pretty damn fast. Plus I only had a quick look, they might have done more damage I didn’t notice.”

I sat and thought for a minute then said “When we left Ripon I was given a radio to contact the army in the case of finding a group of the terrorists who caused this whole mess.” I’d kept this little bit of information to myself so far, I’m not really sure why. They all looked at me, I felt really bad. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all but I never intended on using it. It was made quite clear they wouldn’t come and rescue us” I told them everything, I told them about the secret call-sign to stop us being shot by army patrols looking for terrorists and bandits. I told them about the resistance groups that were searching out army patrols and killing them. They didn’t say a word until I’d finished.

Paul spoke first, he put his hand on my shoulder and said not to feel bad for keeping quiet. James didn’t look happy at all. He looked at me with such disappointment as he asked how he was meant to keep us safe if he didn’t have all the information and why should he keep us safe if I’m not being honest with him. All I could say was that I never intended on going anywhere near the army again and I’d never thought about it. It wasn’t like I’d intentionally kept it a secret, I just hadn’t seen it as important. I had told them all I knew and I think they could see this. James face softened and he stood up and starting pacing. Over the last hour they’ve been discussing how we will defend ourselves. there is no question of us handing over supplies or leaving. We have 7 adults who can shoot, 4 army issue rifles and just short of 300 round, my air rifle and well over 5000 pellets and lots of heavy melee weapons although we don’t want to get to hand-to-hand fighting. I’ve brought the girls away while they plan, they’re drawing pictures now. I don’t think they have any idea how serious this could be, I hope not anyway. I’m going to get Rob to help me move their mattresses and bedding into the attic and get some torches and emergency stuff up there. We don’t know how many people to expect tomorrow and if they get into the house I want the girls hidden.