Diary: 2015 March PART 6.

6th March cont’d

10am Mike has spent most of the yesterday dragging the bodies of our attackers into a pile by the gate. He reckons we got 62. Some were badly injured and I’m ashamed to say that after trying to interrogate the ones capable of talking they were killed. We didn’t get much information, just that they’d been watching us and they wouldn’t give up until they had our supplies. Mike has also been busy dissecting the vehicles left by the attackers, taking the best of them for our own and stripping the remainder to fix our sabotaged vehicles and storing parts for future use.

Paul and Ashley have been fixing our windows and trying to fix the kitchen wall where Paul crashed into it.

Me, Rob, the girls and Brett have been watching over James. By midday yesterday he’d woken up slightly, we crushed some painkillers into water and helped him to drink as much as he could. We’ve seriously overdosed him but I’d rather make sure his last hours are comfortable than worry about damaging his internal organs. Around 7pm last night he woke up enough to talk to us. He is truly the most brave man I’ve ever known. He said he knew he was going to die and I wasn’t going to lie to him, he deserves our honesty. I explained what happened when we tried to set his leg. He took it well, I think my pain-pill cocktail helped some. He understands we had to try, he said he doesn’t blame us and I believe him. We couldn’t just leave him as he was. The clampy scissors are holding well. I think that the blood has clotted around them but I’m trying not to mess with it too much. His foot is going a worrying blotchy red/black I assume is a sign of the restricted blood flow, it’s cold too.

We had about 10 zombies come last night but they just feasted on the pile of dead by the gate and we let them be. A couple wandered up to the house but soon went back to the buffet we’d left for them. James had a quiet night, slept lots, drank painkiller when he woke, slept more.

When I finished writing earlier this morning he’d been asleep for a good couple of hours. I went into the living room and sat on the floor next to him, I could feel the heat coming off him like a radiator. He’s been delirious since 9am, shouting and talking gibberish. He spent a little time explaining the history of his old regiment over and over again. When I left the room he was crying to his mum and reaching out to her. I don’t think he has long left. I’ve been checking on his leg every hour and other than adding another layer of gauze pads to soak up the bleeding I’ve done nothing more. I feel so guilty but at the same time I know we did what had to be done. He saved my life and I’ve repaid him by ending his. I know in my heart he’d have died if we’d done nothing and maybe that would have been just as hard to live with.

Mike is out in the yard still, I can see him through the window. He’s stripping the crashed 4×4 for parts. I don’t know where Brett is. He went out earlier to do something and hasn’t been back since. Ash and Paul are upstairs, they’ve been really quiet.

11.15am James has died. It was peaceful. The scissor clamp gave up and he bled out. I didn’t realise how much blood one person can hold. He slipped away in his sleep and I don’t think he felt any pain at the end. His breathing got more shallow and eventually stopped. I fought the useless urge to try to resuscitate and let him go. It was just me and Rob in the room. Rob went to fetch the others, Paul and Ash came down and said goodbye, Mike came in a few minutes later. We still can’t find Brett but I’m sure he won’t be far away. Carys gave James a big hug goodbye, Seren is too little to understand properly but we’ve tried to explain to her that he was poorly and he won’t be with us anymore. He’s still lying on the sofa, we covered him in a clean sheet and I washed his hands and face. We’re going to dress him in his uniform later, I think he would have liked that.

7pm Brett came back about an hour ago. He hasn’t said much. I heard him crying in the living room earlier. Paul and Ash have stayed upstairs pretty much all day. Our little family doesn’t feel so tight anymore.

7th March

2pm We buried James this morning. Brett had been digging his grave yesterday, that’s why he was missing for so long. I wish he’d got one of us to help but I suppose it was something he needed to do. They’d been good friends for a long time. I hadn’t realised. Obviously I knew they had been friends but Brett told me some stories last night of the times they’d had, the bars and women, the friends they’d gained and lost. I wish I’d had the chance to get to know James better. He came into our lives for a reason, he saved my life, maybe all our lives and I’ll never ever forget him. We didn’t feel right saying a prayer when we buried him so we all said a few words. Perhaps it’s fitting that the first early daffodils are just coming out. Brett had picked a spot at the edge of a field near some trees where the daffodils are growing wild. Before we left me and Ash sang “We’ll keep a welcome” as a final goodbye to our friend. RIP James Davies.

8th March

7am We’re going to force ourselves to get some work done today. None of us feel like it but it has to be done. First priority is to get rid of the bodies and half eaten remains of our attackers. The zombies came again last night, this time there were more of them. Again we were largely ignored in favour of the pile of meat outside. We did discuss leaving the bodies where they are as a distraction while we make ourselves more secure but to be honest I can’t bear looking at them and it’s surprising how many flies they attract even in early March.

8pm We got all the bodies moved, it took 2 trips. The school yard is getting quite full now. The smell is unreal, so bad we’ve given up on laying them out in lines and we literally pulled them out of the trailer and left them where they dropped. The first batch of zombies we dumped here are now in pretty bad shape, blackened and melted and stinking. It’s a strange smell unlike anything else I’ve ever smelled, a sickly sweet rotten smell kinda similar to almonds maybe. They’re crawling with maggots, the ones from last week seem to have the most. You can actually see the skin moving on the skinnier ones as the little buggers squirm around inside. They are also leaking, a nasty brown fluid that smells as bad as the bodies and you don’t want to be getting that on your clothes. One thing we’ve noticed is they all have their mouths open. I don’t know why, maybe their skin drying out stretches their mouth, whatever causes it  I don’t like it.

Anyway, we managed to salvage a nice supply of weapons and vehicles, we now have 57 shotguns, all the shooters were carrying ammo so we have somewhere in the region of 600 rounds for the shotguns. I’m no expert on them and Brett is going to talk us through using them tomorrow sometime and show us which rounds go with which guns. We also got a selection of knifes, machetes and various other melee weapons. We’ve put most of them in the attic out of harms way. Ash and Paul went upstairs again after we had tea and we haven’t seen them since. Me and Rob have been chatting with Mike and Brett all afternoon, getting to know each other better. They’re good guys, I like them both lots.

9th March

6am I’m back to my usual routine of getting up early to make breakfast. The house seems so quiet. Mike was on the last watch and is asleep in the armchair in the living room. It’s still dark out but I said I’d keep an eye on things, he looked so tired. We’re going to burn the sofa today, maybe we’ll have to take up the carpet too. The sofa is soaked with James’ blood and I think it’s gone through to the floor. I pulled a bit of the carpet up by the dining room door and it’s tiled underneath so it’ll be ok if we remove it.

8am I called everyone down for breakfast just after 7am, the girls came running down first as usual, followed by Brett. Mike was already in the kitchen with me as I’d woken him up when I was laying the table. Apparently I’m a noisy bugger. Rob took a few more calls but came down eventually in a grump. He doesn’t do mornings. We were halfway through our breakfast when the girls finished theirs so I sent them upstairs to knock for Ash and Paul. They came back down a few minutes later saying they weren’t answering so Rob went up, calling them lazy sods and telling them to move themselves. He came downstairs looking puzzled. “They’re not there”

At first I though maybe they’d gone out early to do something but they couldn’t have because I’d have seen them. Paul handed over his watch to Mike and went to bed at 2am, I was up at around 5.30am so they must have left at some point between those times. No wonder they’ve been so quiet, I thought they were just sad about James but they must have been planning this. Why would they sneak out in the night? If they wanted to leave we wouldn’t have stopped them. I feel so betrayed that they didn’t trust us enough to talk to us. Not even a note.

9am Mike just came in and told us that one of the 4x4s has gone. rob has checked the attic, there are 4 shotguns gone and some rounds although we haven’t bothered counting how many. My machete is also gone as is my crowbar which Ashley had favoured. I’m so mad. I’m going to check my stores.

9.30am Not surprisingly they’ve taken food and medical supplies. There are a couple of camping stoves and gas gone too. Why have they left like this? Ashley is like a brother to me, why didn’t he talk to me? They must have been planning this, I think Paul has probably taken the supplies while he was on watch duty last night and hidden them in the 4×4 they’d chosen then at some point they’ve managed to sneak out without Mike hearing them. I don’t know how they did it. I’m going to milk the cows. I’m too angry to stay in the house.

5pm I’m waiting for our casserole to finish cooking. Rob and Mike are in the field planting something, Brett is in the front garden burning stuff. We did take the carpet up in the end. it’s scary how fast a sofa burns, the carpet is taking longer so we’ve been burning other stuff we don’t need. I’ve been thinking lots today. I don’t know if I want to stay here. This house has fresh water which is a valuable commodity now and it’s unusual to find a house with it’s own water pump but it holds too many bad memories already and we’ve only been here a few weeks. I know life is going to be hard wherever we go but I just don’t want to be here. I guess I need to sleep on it.

I can’t get my head around the fact that 2 days ago there were 9 of us. Now there are 6 left. We make a good team.

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3 Responses to “Diary: 2015 March PART 6.”

  1. Boo 😦

    Looking forward to the next installment 🙂

  2. A sad loss and abandonment. I hope there is a good reason.

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